Day 6 - SUccess on the scales

Hurray- 3 kg down, another 5 to go ( at least ) ..
Yesterday a good day -
Pushed myself at ZUMBA - thought itwas a bit offun..but must have beeen more than that cos stiff this morning
I felt really happy after spending time with Sue and Liz and Sarah and their babies..a bit self conscious and anxious..trying to make a good impression..but sue is really sweet and encouraging..Nice to be chatting about Perth kids in common..particularly our boys and Angie..

SO home to knit my dog, watch the terrible floods in QLand..and realise my life is good

Day 4 - feeling better

Diet no issue..no hunger..feeling motivated and not deprived.
a first today .."took myself of to the pictures" - felt good, no need to panic...social stuff will come.

Made three phone calls to friends ( Becky, Karen, Sue Michaeledes) and made two arrangements for the week...keep reminding myself this is what normal people do..went to the library changed books..researched websites for food diary..!!

Bit of guilt about not getting back to Bikram..but think it would be overkill..

Discipline and persistance - those clothes are going to fit agan..

DAy 3 -another day done!!

Did get to Bikram Yoga.. crazy heat..and really difficult to maintain focus ..but I persisted..til the end..and basically crawled home and collapsed into bed for an hour..

Went to movie - Blue Valentine..about domestic violence..pretty good acting and very gritty..

But now glad to be home to be on the couch..still stuffed..but proud of my effort..

shags being really quiet and focused on his own stuff..which is perfect cos I havent got any energy for anything..

DAy 2

shitty headache and lethargy all day..but kept reminding myself about the need for patience and persistence and discipline.
If I was socializing it would be worse..so I cant even try for now..keep reading,watching stuff, playing on computer.

Feel lonely, disconnected..all part of the symptomsof detox Im sure. NOt wingeing to shags which is also good discipline...hes heard it all before and it doesnt change anything..Harden the fuck up ..the new motto!!

Good to have a go at the gym..even if it was half baked..tomorrow yoga?

Main challenge is not listening to the "poor me" in my head..all things pass ..this will too..x

Tough detox day 1 - 2011

Jesus .."lose your middle aged middle". My new self help book of torture..but Im surviving day one..one protein shake and herbal teas..plus a bit of protein coming for dinner for dinner

All good so far... but thirteen days of this to go..got to be done..the scales have never been this bad (77.8)..but total inertia and slightly depressed today and headache ( probably caffeine)..white knucling at this early stage ..jesus..
I must get back into my clothes and be comfy..that is my major goal and not to feel so bloated and sluggish.

Got to get out of the box tomorrow..but cant see the point..miss my mates in Perth but know I couldnt be spending time with them ..or anyone really right now. Embrace the solitude ..it wont be for long..books, tv, computer..and exercise!!

In the moment

Now so happy its ridiculous.

.school is so much fun..for example..my dear 50 year old male student from Afganistan, whose entire family wiped out..except for his wife..a serious but extremely polite man..we had been drilling pronounciation - pass vs path, sick v thick. I had all the words in a little box..Each student had to select one and read it..Doust pulls his out and reads "sad" - unfortunatly he was reading it upside down..was "pass"..70 year old Chinese Pin, who had been industriously copying fron the board..told me at the end of class she " no looky looky..glasses not working"..still we have a ball..Im so energised by the end of the morning..

and than home to plan and organise holiday after holiday..today sydney , two weeks timePerth, 4 weeks Bali..China in March.
I love the fact that we dont know where we will be living next year..all will be well!!!xxx

WHat a lucky girl I am!!Not missing Perth at all now ( apart from Timmy and a few dear friends)..just in the moment in Melbourne..counting my blessings effortlessly and frequently

need something..dont know what

3 months since last blog.. Im now through my significant, paralyzing, horrible depression..and the days are warm and I'm reasonably content with my little life for now..not doing enough..apart from two days with my students..and 3 times at the gym..my life lacks structure..love reading, playing on the computer, watching the box..but not enough!!...

keep brainstorming ideas..but none gel...just feel like i am marking time dong the bare minumum..waoting til my laziness pushes me to commit to something..sewing, art , film making, screen writing,, rowing,more good charity stuff, learn a language, master something onthe computer..get really fit..play guitar..on and on the ideas go with relentless circularity..at least I know what I dont want..mind fuck ..personal development type stuff
I just dont know..seeing Julie and JUlia last night..made me think about their efforts to fill voids in their lives and how fulfilled and challenged they both were..but they were both passionate about food and cooking..

come on universe throw something at me please!!!!!!!!