its off!!

the cast is off ..My scrawny withered leg has had a scrub in the bath and I can wiggle my ankle..cant bear the thought of the moon boot..but know it must go on..soon..like in 10 minutes..
running into all my fellow crips in the doctors waiting room today reminds me there are millions of us on this tedious journey..

good stuff

The expectation was huge..with Hannah coming over to Melbourne for the first time.. I was counting the days , the hours, the minutes..and finally at there she was ..and I remember why I miss her so much.all of her ...her loudness, her bossyness, her pleasure bunny, in the moment stuff..her ability to wizz up a huge assignment on some marketing project, at the same time..shop searching, chatting on phone, and talking to me..head off to a job interview like it was no big deal. And off to Wicked, the musical..and after simple stuff like watching the footy on telly and feeling so lucky..and also worrying about her discontent..and wishing I could fix it and knowing that I cant

and meanwhile on the back burner my preoccupaption with Tim being here for his bucks weekend ..and no plans to visit me..and me angsting and..not coping and feeling angry and resentful..and then on sunday ..he turns up with a bunch of tired hungover boys..eats a few chops ..debriefs the highlights ( his mate getting busted on the footy oval - $2-6000 fine..they all loved that)..and I get to go to the G in my wheel chair...with him and his mates..courtesy of darling hubbys amazing generousity..and spanner chatting up a HAwks player , who looked totally traumatised ..poor little thing..) ..and than the phone call that their plane was cancelled and 6 of them may have to sleep on the floor!! They didnt!!

And again another backburner..anxious health thoughts..preoccupation with mortality, career, my lifes' purpose , why am I in Melbourne??.. too much time to think..mindful, mindless meanderings..triggered by my sore leg, my mothers constant complaining( is this my destiny??) insomnia, missing my mates, and not much to do..

Over it!!

Now Im officially over it!! Pissed off and sick of being positive,strong and grateful and it could be worse etc etc
Being stuck in an appt in a new city with no real mates..sucks!! Hobbling around on crutches feels unsafe and tiring..even radio national is boring..and that usually keeps me going..

The thought of still being on crutches for tim and thesese's wedding makes me really grumpy..

I cant figure out how to find a friend in cyberspace...cos I dont want to..
When I look at other people's blogs..I wonder why they bother..self indulgent crap..not making a useful contribution to the planet in any way..just pollution ...

I think the lack of physical exercise is getting me down..whinge, whinge, whine , whine..

PS Only highlight this week was dragging myself out of my wheel chair in the foyer and pulling the handrail off the wall!!got a laugh out of that..

Weekend highlights as a cripple!!

..all by myself I managed to order home delivered thai takeaway..and let the boy in and find my purse and pay for it and eat it..all from crutches and a wheel chair..

..my darling hubby taking me for my first little push in my wheelchair...hit the curb with vigor and I lurched out of the chair onto my arse..A good look!!

..joined sugardaddy.com to see how hard it is looking for love on line..apart from killing masses of time ..it seems way to much effort for me..so I wont be trading my nurse betty in , in a hurry

..a photo sent from Tim for mothers day..seen from a coffee shop in sydney..a sky writer "mum"

..playing with charlie bedbrook on skype..he is still carrying around my audi keys...3 months later!!

and the most beautiful moment..finding Shakila's phone number and ringing her out of the blue..hearing the joy in her voice, her English so much improved....she is a wonderful, strong, survivor..keeps my blessed life in perspective.

Now what??

Ok so now im blogging..I need to observe..

watching my little ants running around the G, furiously working on their fitness..

a phone call from hubby laughing at the idiotic, tragic barristers being so important waiting for court..puffing themselves up ....not talking to him cos he's not important enough..reminded me of Alex McCall Smith talking about the vital importance of good manners

...getting a phonephoto from my manic , beautiful friend, whose just woken up in Eagle bay..with red wine all over her jarmies ( And a hangover) saying once you're in a wheel chair, Jane, you could come to england with me

....another text just in, typed one handed by my breastfeeding friend, struggling with her 2 year old throwing toys at her and her new born..dear little charlie not loving his new reality much it seems...

..another email from my best best friend, which made me cry


so much to take in ....
with out moving an inch

My first blog moment

Testing testing.. never stop learning

already this morning I have taken a photo of myself and taught myself to send it to my computer and to my friends via email and now to my blog site..who ever said "old dogs ..new tricks"..hasn't met me..Im not going to be defeated by by new circumstances..unable to walk. new city . no best friends,..such unsignificant probs really...