good stuff

The expectation was huge..with Hannah coming over to Melbourne for the first time.. I was counting the days , the hours, the minutes..and finally at there she was ..and I remember why I miss her so much.all of her ...her loudness, her bossyness, her pleasure bunny, in the moment stuff..her ability to wizz up a huge assignment on some marketing project, at the same time..shop searching, chatting on phone, and talking to me..head off to a job interview like it was no big deal. And off to Wicked, the musical..and after simple stuff like watching the footy on telly and feeling so lucky..and also worrying about her discontent..and wishing I could fix it and knowing that I cant

and meanwhile on the back burner my preoccupaption with Tim being here for his bucks weekend ..and no plans to visit me..and me angsting and..not coping and feeling angry and resentful..and then on sunday ..he turns up with a bunch of tired hungover boys..eats a few chops ..debriefs the highlights ( his mate getting busted on the footy oval - $2-6000 fine..they all loved that)..and I get to go to the G in my wheel chair...with him and his mates..courtesy of darling hubbys amazing generousity..and spanner chatting up a HAwks player , who looked totally traumatised ..poor little thing..) ..and than the phone call that their plane was cancelled and 6 of them may have to sleep on the floor!! They didnt!!

And again another backburner..anxious health thoughts..preoccupation with mortality, career, my lifes' purpose , why am I in Melbourne??.. too much time to think..mindful, mindless meanderings..triggered by my sore leg, my mothers constant complaining( is this my destiny??) insomnia, missing my mates, and not much to do..